The natural progression of life events has led me down the path to serve people. My own experiences both from difficulties and successes and from my formal education enable me to share the gifts which these events have bestowed upon me. I cannot imagine any other profession which better suits my abilities or values.
Doing my own work in therapy helped me to become conscious of the ability and importance of turning tragedy into triumph. I used and continue to use life’s challenges as an access point to live at a deeper level. As a husband, father and fellow human, my actions reflect the ideals I bring to the process of psychotherapy.
My influences stem from a wide range of practitioners and philosophies. Here are just a few which are helpful in giving you an idea of who I am as a therapist:
Bill Wilson’s development of the 12 steps of recovery.
Pema Chodron has taught me a lot about the human condition. Her work inspires me on a daily basis to slow down and be present with that which terrifies, excites, saddens, angers and confuses me. The ability to stay and not distract away for the richness of life means I have a chance to benefit from it all and to grow up.
Pia Melody’s work on addictions, co-dependency and relationships.
David Deida’s profound teachings about the importance of life purpose, masculine and feminine polarity and spirituality have played a huge part in my development as a couple’s therapist and my work with men. Working with men to uncover and work through what holds them back is a passion that serves everyone involved. When men are more clear about their desires and ways to work with those desires, a greater freedom is available to them. From my own experience, I can say my need for freedom is at the core of who I am. It is not about a selfish pursuit, but rather cultivating the ability to serve while still meeting my own need to be kind to self. From this place, it is possible to give my greatest gift and meet my needs, too. It is my belief that we must cultivate kindness towards self in order to offer it to others.
Last but certainly not least are the influences my wife Anne and my daughter Eva have on my life. They both teach me on a daily basis what it is to love.
On the educational side:
Carl Rogers taught me that the relationship of therapist and client is of utmost importance and carries with it the power to heal.
John Bowlby’s development of Attachment Theory taught me the importance of attachment figures throughout our lives. It informs my work as a couple’s therapist and when working with families.
Bowen Family Systems Theory helped me develop an understanding of the relationships contained within a family system and the importance of looking at the whole system, not just individual members.